The Power of Being and Embracing Your True self

‘Your Individuality is the most Valuable thing you have’ - Martha Beck

We’re told from a young age ‘just be yourself’ - it seems to be all around us, it’s everyone’s advice when we’re not sure what to do, so you’d think by now it would be second nature and we wouldn’t even need to be told. But along with these messages of ‘be yourself’, we’re also bombarded with messages - both direct and subtle - that ourselves aren’t good enough, aren’t socially acceptable.

The fashion industry, the beauty industry, the diet industry (and many more) thrive on making you feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with being you, and you should be always working to change it. Now, this isn’t bashing self development, investing in yourself and striving to do better - this is not binning off self improvement in the name of ‘it’s just who I am’, but the first step in self-improvement is self-acceptance.

If you’re ready to make positive changes in your life, become a better friend, a better ally, look after yourself better or break a habit, then you need to accept where you are coming from. Accept who you are right in this moment, mistakes and flaws included, and commit to becoming better, not punishing yourself for not being better before.

When you make changes in your life, and to the person you are, they might be uncomfortable or scary, but if you really listen to yourself and not the outside world, it can feel like coming home, like relighting something within you that you thought was lost.

Photo by Daria Volkova on Unsplash

So why is it so hard to be myself?

Whether you notice the messages or not, it’s hard to ignore that we are being told that there is an ‘acceptable’ and ‘correct’ way of living, looking, dressing, working, shopping and everything else. It’s all around us, and is heightened massively if you don’t fit in to societies rules and roles defined by gender, race, sexuality, class. The more you step out of your assigned ‘box’, the louder these messages will get.

Knowing that you don’t fit in, or that you’re ‘different’ is a deep rooted feeling that likely started when you were young, you might have been told you were ‘too loud’, ‘too bossy’, ‘weird’, ‘different’, ‘argumentative’, ‘doesn’t work well in groups’, ‘uncooperative’, ‘disruptive’.

Putting your true self out into the world is a brave and rebellious act that should be celebrated. It might not always feel like it, and it might happen slowly and gradually - bit by bit - but it is all worth celebrating. It’s in the moments when you throw out the clothes your keeping because you might one day fit in them, when you go out in an outfit you love even though it goes against the ‘rules’ for your body or gender, enforcing your boundaries, unfollowing instagram accounts that make you feel like you’re not good enough and taking up your space in the world.

You don’t exist to bend yourself to someone else rules, you are here to embrace every aspect of yourself and create your own space that is truly you and yours. It’s a journey and there’s no right way or pace to get to a final destination of being comfortable with yourself, but it’s a journey worth taking and I’m rooting for you.

What has your experience of learning to embrace and present your true self been? Let me know in the comments.